16 August, 2007

Stuff I've Learned from Six-Year-Olds

A ceiling fan + dog leash combination is not strong enough to allow a 6-year-old boy in Batman underwear and a Superman cape to fly.
A ceiling fan + dog leash + open paint can combination is, however, strong enough to thoroughly speckle a 12 x 12 foot room.

A ceiling fan is capable of acting as a baseball bat.
It will take several tries before the ceiling fan makes contact with the ball.
Window glass does not have enough tensile strength to stop a baseball propelled by a ceiling fan.

The water in a king-sized waterbed will fill a 2000 square foot house to the depth of approximately 2 1/3 inches.

The clothes drier does not make earthworms dizzy.
The clothes drier does make cats dizzy.
Cats vomit approximately their own body weight when dizzy.

Melted crayons do not make a good substitute for paint.
Paint brushes don't work very well on cars.
You shouldn't believe your father when he says he wishes the car was a different color.
No earthworms, cats or 6-year-olds were harmed during the researching or development of this post.
A few windows, some carpet and one car were damaged but, hey, it's called 'research' for a reason.


pissed off patricia said...

I'm glad nothing was harmed and I'm also glad I'm laughing before 5am. Thanks for that :)

two crows said...

g'morning PoP--
hee hee!
I came by most of these via Car Talk on NPR [do you know that show? a great way to get laughing on Saturday mornings].
but, believe it or not-- I learned the one about using- crayons-as-paint from my own experience. luckily-- I didn't try the melted crayons on the car. I used em on the house.

Alien Citizen said...

Yeah, I used to listen to Cartalk every week! Love those guys. And maybe the melted crayons would work as food coloring? Okay, just kidding.

two crows said...

hey, AC--
seeing as how kids love to eat crayons [and paste], mebbe so!

pissed off patricia said...

Car Talk is the best thing to happen to radio when you're traveling.

two crows said...

g'morning PoP--
yep-- I listen almost every week -- it's always good for a belly laugh or 2.

dunno about where you are, but here it's followed by _Wait_Wait_Don't_Tell_Me_ -- another show I listen to to take a vacation from the angst. even tho it's a veiled news program -- it gives the hilarious side of the news. love it! :)

Mary Ellen said...

The one thing about earthworms I learned when I was six...when you take them out of the rain, you are not saving their lives by keeping them in your underwear drawer. Also, a mother can scream really loud when she opens said drawer.

two crows said...

hi, m e--
see? the important stuff we learn when we're 6 or we learn from 6-y-o's. :)