11 April, 2008

Saint Shrub

President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church in NW Washington as part of his campaign to restore his 28% approval rating in the polls. Karl Rove made a visit to the Bishop and said, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the President's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina, and the VA Hospitals. But, we'll make a $500,000 contribution to your church if during your sermon you will say that the President is a saint.

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church could really use the money - I'll do it."
The following Sunday, President Bush showed up for the sermon, and the Bishop began: "I'd like to speak to all of you this morning about our President, George Bush. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated nation on earth. He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this country and a greater gap between rich and poor than we've had since the Depression."
"He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot Dome Scandal. "The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6 trillion Dollars, gas prices are up 85%, which the people of America cannot afford, and vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from the religious right."
"He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known. But compared to Dick Cheney, George W. Bush is a saint."


an average patriot said...

Excellent, love it! I can't believe a church would even let him in. That is worse than inviting the devil!

two crows said...

hi, AAP--
well, maybe he could be struck by lightning as he crossed the threshold.

hey! a girl can dream, can't she? :)

pissed off patricia said...

Funny and so true, that it almost isn't funny