09 April, 2008

Hello, All--
My abrupt departure was occasioned by the death of my mother.
It wasn't really a surprise although we'd been lulled into a false sense of security, I suppose.

She'd had Alzheimer's Disease for many years so we knew it was only a matter of time.
But, on the other hand, her hospice nurse had told me just a week and a half before her death that she was walking daily [with help], hoarding food [a common occurrence among Alzheimer's patients] and taking her baby doll with her everywhere. So, when the end came, it did feel pretty sudden.

At that, I believe she did my sister and me a favor.
I'm not one who hankers for the bedside vigil, myself. I've done it with people outside my family and what it boils down to, for me, is sitting by the bed feeling helpless. My mother spared us that. She departed while my sister and I were both in airplanes with our phones turned off.
By the time we got to her home, she had been cleaned up and did look to be sleeping. Yes, I expected her to open her eyes and say, 'What are you all staring at?'


betmo said...

there are never words to convey the feelings behind wanting another person to not experience pain and loss. i am sorry doesn't quite do it. positive energy to you and your family.

two crows said...

thanks for the thoughts and positive energy, betmo.

you know, the grieving had happened years ago.
I don't feel beholden to Ronald Reagan or Nancy for much -- still, the title of that book, _The_Long_Goodbye_, pretty much says it all.

Mary Ellen said...

I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about your mom. I left a message on PP&D, also. Alzheimer's is such a devastating disease...of course, I don't have to tell you that. Losing a parent is so difficult. There is the sadness of not being able to see them or talk to them, and yet the happiness that they are no longer suffering. Of course, your sadness and mourning started a long time ago, I'm sure--when she was first diagnosed with the disease.

I wish I could reach through this monitor and give you a great big hug.

an average patriot said...

two crows
Again my condolences! You hit the nail on the head. So many emotions! Peace!

two crows said...

thanks, Mary Ellen --
that means SO much -- coming from you right now.

two crows said...

thanks AAP--
yep. this week has left me with the bends, I can tell you that.
the lows, of course. and the memories of the good times, too. and making contact with some family I'd lost contact with [never again, I swear!]
etc. etc. etc.