28 February, 2008

This from the Borowitz Report:
Cash-rich Obama Buys Yahoo
Outbids Microsoft for Internet Giant

Flush with cash after a deluge of online donations, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) stunned the business world today by outbidding Microsoft for the Internet giant Yahoo.

The purchase of Yahoo is believed to be the largest acquisition of a multibillion-dollar company ever by a Democratic presidential candidate, industry experts said.

A spokesman for Microsoft at the company’s Redmond, Washington headquarters acknowledged that the company was “disappointed” to lose Yahoo to Sen. Obama, but added, “We can’t really be mad at him, because we love him so.”

The news of Sen. Obama’s $48 billion offer for Yahoo sent a shudder through Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)’s campaign, which for the past six weeks has been subsisting on Ramen noodles.

In his televised debate in Cleveland, Ohio with Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama said that he was able to purchase Yahoo because his campaign was reaping online donations averaging $1.8 billion a day.

Mr. Obama also offered to “personally hire” 2 million Ohioans to do odd jobs around his campaign headquarters.

“People say, can we really come up with enough errands for 2 million Ohioans to do?” he said. “Yes we can.”

Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick praised Sen. Obama’s plan, telling reporters, “His campaign is more than just words, he is offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”

Sen. Obama later added, “My campaign is more than just words, I am offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”

Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession.


betmo said...

hi there- sorry i only just saw your comment at poets for peace- as you can tell- i write sporadically there. the war and the greed and arrogance of it- does not lend itself easily to creativity. by all means use the picture- or any that i post. i get most of them from google anyway. :)


my personal haiku is at http://betmoscorner.blogspot.com

two crows said...

hi betmo-- and welcome to Scattershot.
thanx for the permit.

and, please visit me at
[my primary blog].

Polly said...

Do you know The Borowitz Report?

two crows said...

hi, Polly--
welcome to scattershot thoughts.
how 'bout trying out my other blogs?
All that Is
Preserve, Protect and Defend.

as you can see, I don't add to this one very often and it gets very little traffic, these days.

right now, aamof, there's a pizza party going on over at All that Is. :)