30 August, 2009

British health care explained

How does it stack up against ours? You decide.

24 August, 2009

Holder Stepping to the Plate

Holder to Appoint Prosecutor to Investigate CIA Terror Interrogations - - By Carrie Johnson of the Washington Post

Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. has decided to appoint a prosecutor to examine nearly a dozen cases in which CIA interrogators and contractors may have violated anti-torture laws and other statutes when they allegedly threatened terrorism suspects, according to two sources familiar with the move.

Holder is poised to name John Durham, a career Justice Department prosecutor from Connecticut, to lead the inquiry, according to the sources, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the process is not complete.

Durham's mandate, the sources added, will be relatively narrow: to look at whether there is enough evidence to launch a full-scale criminal investigation of current and former CIA personnel who may have broken the law in their dealings with detainees. Many of the harshest CIA interrogation techniques have not been employed against terrorism suspects for four years or more.

The attorney general selected Durham in part because the longtime prosecutor is familiar with the CIA and its past interrogation regime. For nearly two years, Durham has been probing whether laws against obstruction or false statements were violated in connection with the 2005 destruction of CIA videotapes. The tapes allegedly depicted brutal scenes including waterboarding of some of the agency's high value detainees. That inquiry is proceeding before a grand jury in Alexandria, although lawyers following the investigation have cast doubt on whether it will result in any criminal charges.

Word of Holder's decision comes on the same day that the Obama administration will issue a 2004 report by the then-CIA Inspector General. Among other things, the IG questioned the effectiveness of harsh interrogation tactics that included simulated drowning and wall slamming. A federal judge in New York forced the administration to release the secret report after a lawsuit from the American Civil Liberties Union.
Follow the link for the complete article.
xxx
Back in April I wrote a post that suggested that Obama might have pushed Holder toward this move. Maybe it's happening? Wouldn't that be lovely?

19 August, 2009

"If Stephen Hawking Lived in England" and Other Great Points the Left Doesn't Want You to Know.

by Jennifer Epps
Published on Friday, August 21, 2009 by CommonDreams.org

Fellow Patriots,
Here are some important things to keep in mind when those blood-suckers from the left try to spread their lies about health care!! Print this out so you can bring it to a town hall.

1.) If Stephen Hawking lived in England, he'd be left to die. Thank God he's safe at the University of Cambridge in Massachusetts.

2.) If the government was capable of ensuring health care for seniors, they would have done it decades ago.

3.) If we didn't have a free enterprise health care system in America, then we would not be able to achieve all those advances in medicine funded by the National Institutes of Health.

4.) When the people of oppressed countries like Canada, Britain, France, Italy, Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Israel, Australia and New Zealand finally get democracy, they can vote out their socialized health care systems.

5.) England's capital is the ultimate proof that national health care kills free enterprise. That's why London has no stock exchange, no banking district, no tabloid newspapers, no big musicals, and no expensive real estate.

6.) Even the World Health Organization agrees that "America has the best health care system in the world"; the WHO ranks the American health care system at the very top part of its list, right after the first part where 36 other countries rank higher.

7.) Free enterprise is the greatest system ever invented and government can't even come close. What else but private industry could have split the atom, or gotten a man on the moon?

8.) If you drove 100 miles on the interstate freeway you still couldn't come up with one good thing that government has done.

9.) I'm writing an urgent letter to my Senator about the health-care issue. I'm explaining how the government never does anything right. I'm sure the Post Office will deliver it in a day or so.

10.) The last thing anyone needs is a government official getting involved with health. I look after my own health. For example, I always make sure I eat at restaurants rated "A" in the window.

11.) I really resent the government thinking I need any assistance from them. I buy my FDA-approved medication on my own.

12.) If health care were available to all at government expense, people would over-consume, using it when they don't really need it. As in the common phrase: "It's Saturday night, honey. Would you rather go to a movie, or shall we have our gallstones removed?"

13.) For some reason, the lunatic left can't understand that the most important thing in health care is consumer choice. When you're in a car accident and you've lost pints and pints of blood, what you really want to do is to sit down, think over how much you want to spend and where, and comparison-shop. And if you happen to choose an incompetent surgeon, well, he damn well won't get your business next time, will he?
~~~
Jennifer Epps is an L.A.-area political activist, writer, producer, and director who studied theatre and has written several hundred film reviews. She is currently developing an anti-war film.
xxx
I wish I could add something to this but I can't—I just can't do it—that's all.

The Catcerto

enjoy------

18 August, 2009

The Truth Is Out: Obama Hates Gays

Emma Ruby wrote for the Huffington Post:
"Yesterday, the Obama administration filed a follow-up brief in the Smelt case -- the couple in California challenging DOMA who were the recipients of an imprudently written reply brief back in June. This time, it looks like some liberals in the Justice Department got their hands on a copy of the brief before filing. There are some nice words in there aimed at smoothing hurt feelings.

"But the brief also argues for a new and dangerous interpretation of the rational basis test.

"The rational basis test is applied by the court to laws that violate the equal protection clause, but do not implicate certain protected groups. In other words, if the law does not discriminate on the basis of race or gender, it will likely be upheld if the government can find any rational reason why the law exists. These reasons can be invented on the spot and are usually not tested very vigorously."
See here for the complete article.
xxx
So, after his disastrous comparison of gay marriage to incest and the marrying off of children, he turns around and says, "Oh—well—gay marriage is just too hard to do anything about! Forget it, then. So what if people are denied their rights? That's just too bad for them, then, isn't it?" And he scoops up his marbles and goes home.

To which my response:
"Voting for Obama is just too hard! Forget it then. I'll find someone else—surely someone doesn't see finally allowing people their rights as too difficult a task for the president to do."

14 August, 2009

My Crusade

Well folks—
I restarted Scattershot so I wouldn't feel obligated to post all politics all the time—then promptly posted 5 political articles. Go figure.

BUT, today I'm departing from that and posting something that has been consuming my waking hours for several weeks. I think I can safely post about it now without jinxing it.

First allow me to say that there's absolutely NO wake-up call like a diagnosis of diabetes. None whatsoever. Nada. Nothing.
The prospect of blindness. Liver damage. Amputated feet. Kidney failure. Heart failure.

For years, I'd try to diet—but would keep eating the same old junk food—just less of it. So, I was hungry all the time and I wasn't losing weight. I’d feel deprived and, sooner or later, would stop dieting. Then I would pig-out and end up GAINING weight. Eventually, I just quit trying. And I kept on eating all the wrong things.

Well, shortly before that fateful diagnosis hit me upside the head with a 2 by 4, a friend’s doc told him to eat 5 times per day to lose weight. I decided to try it. I began eating vegetables and fruits and whole grains and such for the first time in my adult life. And I didn’t lose weight. Rrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!
Still, for some reason, I kept at it—who knows why? Maybe one reason was—I wasn’t hungry and I WAS eating right, at least and at last.

So, then I got the diagnosis and I panicked. Lucky for me, my doc sent me to a nutritionist who congratulated me on my move toward healthy eating and explained what I was doing wrong. All I had to do was tweak my diet a bit and the pounds began to fall off. Hey! I was onto something here!

So far, I’ve quit taking the blood pressure medications I’d been on for years AND I’ve quit taking the diabetes med my doc put me on about 5 weeks ago.
I’m eating right, swimming at least once per day and walking most days, as well [another first in more years than I can count.]
One thing that helped in the swimming department was the move, a couple of years ago, to a retirement community. I hadn’t worn a swimsuit in decades—because I would be faced with all those 20-somethings worshiping the sun whenever I headed to the pool. Here, though, almost everyone looks just like me! So no more avoiding the pool out of self-consciousness. The fact that the pool is about 3 blocks away helps too.
And, today, I received another major surprise. During today’s walks [first to the pool and later to my park’s maintenance office] I found myself walking fast! THAT’S a first in years and years.
I wasn’t pressing myself to walk faster—I just did it! It felt completely natural!
Right now I’m restraining myself mightily. If I’m not careful I may just break my arm patting myself on the back.

And—here’s the proof of the pudding:
1] I’ve lost 24 pounds [from 236 down to 212] in—what?—about 5 weeks. My goal is 135 pounds—maybe even a few less than that—we’ll see.
2] Though I’ve quit the blood pressure meds, my bp hovers around the 130’s/80’s range—a marked improvement even from the levels when I was taking 3 meds to keep it under control.
3] My fluid retention has dropped dramatically—though I’ve stopped taking the diuretic. OK, OK, yes, I’m taking dandelion root now but, hey!—it’s not nearly as strong as HCTZ AND it is high in potassium, which the HCTZ was leeching from my system. So, that’s a Good Thing.
And [4] **drum roll** my blood sugar level hit 78 yesterday! SEVENTY EIGHT!
For those who may not know—70-90 is normal. And my starting level was 154!

So—today I’m claiming my bragging rights—in case you hadn’t figured that out already. =)

12 August, 2009

Urine Luck! Pee May Be the Fuel of the Future

Scientists at Ohio University have stumbled on a major break-through that could be the key to bringing hydrogen fuel cells into wide-spread use. Scientists discovered that placing a nickel-based electrode in a pool of urine and applying a small electrical current produces hydrogen gas.

"One cow can provide enough energy to supply hot water for 19 houses," Ohio University professor Gerardine Botte said of the discovery.
The scientists are hoping to make commercial version of the technology available by next year.
xxx
hmmmmmmm---
Maybe they've found a practical way to run those hydrogen fueled cars? Pull up to the pump and out comes -- PEE!
No more depending on middle eastern countries for our fuel and we could clean up those huge pig farms in N. Carolina.


11 August, 2009

The Truth about Canada

Heard on National Public Radio
These days, we can hardly turn on our TV's without seeing political ads telling us how horrible Canadian health care is.

Now, just so you know, no one in Congress or the White House is suggesting that the US adopt the Canadian design. [Though why they aren't, I don't know--it's a great system. Oh--that's right--the insurance companies don't want it. I forgot.]

Sarah Varney, reporter for NPR member station, KQED, decided to check out health care north of the border. See what you think.
xxx
Varney opened her piece with a visit to a doctor's office. She interviewed John Riley who was being treated for colon cancer in a small doctor's office in a gritty, working class neighborhood. He and his wife have been seeing the same doctor for over twenty years. They are allowed to choose their own physician.

Varney asked John if he had been required to wait for treatment. "Nothing but good. Everything has been going bang, bang, bang."
Did he have out-of-pocket expenses? "Other than gettin' there. No. Everything is good. I'm covered. I'm covered."
xxx
So, how does the Canadian health care system work? It's paid for by income tax and sales tax. All Canadians are covered and can see any doctor they want, anywhere in Canada with no co-pays or deductibles.

Some things aren't paid for: optometry, dental care or prescription drugs. Some people carry additional insurance to pay for those--others pay out-of-pocket for them.

American opponents to a new health plan like to call Canadian health care "Socialized Medicine [HORRORS!]." That's not an accurate description. Actually, it's socialized insurance--meaning that the risk is pulled together and paid for by the government.

While individual provinces and territories set their own overall health budgets and administer the health plans, the delivery of the actual care is private. Doctors run their own practices and bill the government rather than the patient or a 3rd party provider.

A physician Varney interviewed [Dr. Barsalai] told her that doctors earn a good living in Canada and don't have to handle the hassles involved with dealing with hundreds of different insurance policies--each with its own rules.
The article didn't say so, but I would imagine the issues of pre-approval or preexisting conditions don't come up.

Barsalai said that medical costs in Canada are half of what they are in the US. Infant mortality is lower. Life expectancy is longer. Obesity is lower and accessibility is higher.
Canada must be doing something right.

The Commonwealth Fund, a respected and non-partisan health research organization surveyed the 19 top industrialized countries in regards to deaths that could have been prevented had appropriate care been available. Canada rated 6th in positive outcomes while the US rated last.

Steve Morgan, a health economist at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, said, "I think a lot of it has to do with access. Canadians who need to manage a chronic condition or are faced with an urgent situation don't think about their pocketbooks. They seek the care and, more times than not, they get the care they need."

Varney met with Morgan and his colleagues at the UVC Center for Health Policy Research to find out what the data they've collected over the years reveal about the Canadian health system. Varney advised them of what the American public is told about the Canadian process: that health care is rationed, there are long waiting lists and a government bureaucrat gets between the patient and his/her doctor.
Professor Bob Evans, one of the grandfathers of the health economics field, said, "An illusion has been created that there are long lines of people who are near death waiting for care. That's absolute nonsense!"
Evans has been studying the two systems [Canadian and American] since they were founded about the same time during the 1960's.
He went on to say, "Are there people lined up not getting the appropriate care they need in appropriate times? Of course there are. It's a huge system and a very complicated one. And things do go wrong. But, as a general rule, what happens here is: when you need the care--you get it. We're not a third world country! [He sounded downright incensed.]

When federal funding for health care declined when a recession occurred during the 1990's, lines for nonessential services [and even some urgent ones] grew. The Canadian Supreme Court did find that, in some serious cases, patients had, in fact, died as a result of waiting for medical services. Stories of the deaths and of people traveling to the US for medical care dominated Canadian news. As a result, the Canadian government poured billions of dollars into reducing waiting times in the areas that were the most critical including cardiac care, cancer and joint replacement surgery.
As a result, the amount of wait time has been dropping. Most provinces now report waiting times on publically available websites. No such data or accountability is available in the US.

That's not to say there aren't frustrations regarding waiting for health care in Canada. At BC Children's Hospital, Jocelyn Tomkins, a young woman born with a condition similar to spina bifida, stated, "I haven't been able to walk since I was eight. I've had lots of surgeries and interventions but, beyond that, I hold a job and I live a pretty much normal life."
Jocelyn credits an army of doctors and physical therapists for that normal life but she admits there have, on occasion, been roadblocks.
"Of course there were some times when I had to wait for care and those were always the most frustrating moments."
A few years ago, when she was on a wait list for a pain clinic, she traveled first to Seattle and then to Texas. The care she required cost $1,800.00. Very few Canadians do go south for health care. It's a bit like getting struck by lightning--it's rare but, when it happens, everyone talks about it.

On some occasions, provinces pay for people to receive specialty care in the US. One such instance is the fact that a shortage of neonatal beds in Canada leads some women with high risk pregnancies to travel to the US [at Canadian expense] to deliver. It doesn't happen often and polls show that the vast majority of people are happy with their health care.

A few people would like to purchase private health insurance. Currently that is not allowed.

Canadians share some anxieties with their counterparts south of the border: a concern regarding their aging baby boomer population; overuse of emergency departments and a shortage of primary care doctors. But what Canadians don't worry about are losing their health insurance or going bankrupt because of a health crisis.

09 August, 2009

Republicans Just Never Learn, Do They?

Rusty Depass, a GOP activist, stated that Michelle Obama's ancestor was a gorilla and posted it on Facebook.
Later he made a non-apology apology, saying ""I am as sorry as I can be if I offended anyone. The comment was clearly in jest."

"IF I OFFENDED ANYONE?" Did he really say that?
Later he attempted to blame Michelle Obama for his words.
[Click on the title for the complete article.]

His comment was similar to the early days of the Nazi party when men in brown shirts and swastika armbands stood on street corners handing out handbills that compared Jews to apes. Comedians made similar "jokes" in nightclubs.
Do we want to return to those times?

Speech is free in this country and must remain so unless we want to drift into a totalitarian state. Therefore, we cannot outlaw such remarks. However, what we can do is try such statements in the court of public opinion.

So, what do you think?
***
Apparently, I can't stay away from politics after all.
My excuse, this time, though, is that this had been in my hopper for months and I just stumbled across it today.

05 August, 2009

Una and Laura are home! YAYAYAYAYAY!
Thank goodness we now have a president who doesn't posture, yell "Bring it on!" and label other countries as evil but, instead, pursues diplomatic avenues.

Una and Laura owe Obama and Clinton their freedom, maybe their lives.
The rest of us owe them the potential of reopening relations with North Korea and, possibly, a safer world.

Hnh! I went and closed my political blog because I was so discouraged — and here comes some good news. Go figure.

04 August, 2009

Tell Me Why

written and sung by a 13-year-old boy. the grown-ups don't have an answer.

13 June, 2009

I LOL'd. you will too.

18 March, 2009

Christian the Lion


And here's the full story. It's over an hour long in 10 minute increments.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzxms9-qQZ4&feature=related
Well -- so much for that.
The owners of Born Free who own this video, as well, threatened to sue the person who posted this to Youtube. You can view the 1st and last segments and, if you like them, a link is provided where you can order a copy of the whole program. **sigh**
xxx
sequel:
the story began in 1969 and, I think, the last any human saw of Christian was in 1974.

One of the more astounding parts of the story was this:
John and Ace phoned George in 1974 and told him they wanted to come for another visit. [2 years after the video above]. George told them that it had been quite a while since he'd seen the pride and doubted they would be able to find them.
They decided to go anyway--at least to see George.

When they got to the camp, George told them that the pride had returned the day before and they were just outside the camp.
Christian and the men had another lovely visit. The lionesses were not happy about it and let it be known but Christian stayed with the men for a couple of days.

After John and Ace left, the pride left the camp and they were never seen again. George kept hoping they would return but they never did.

George believed [and I do, too] that Christian knew John and Ace were coming and came to meet them.
After that visit, they never planned another trip to Africa so there was no need for Christian to return to the camp to greet them as he was fully assimilated to Africa by then.

29 October, 2008

19 August, 2008

Life Emulating Art

Back in the mid-1970’s when I was in my late 20’s, I took several creative writing classes while attending university.

Back then, Dr. Ingersoll stressed again and again, the importance of creating tension either between characters or between the circumstances and the characters. I went along with the program—I wanted the grade, after all—but I wasn’t a true believer. After all, weren’t there plenty of times when tension wasn’t present in peoples’ lives?
Well, ok, I was aware that MY life had, by and large, been pretty angst-filled—but, surely, that wasn’t the norm, was it? Well? WAS IT?

During the months I've endured over the past few days, I’ve been thinking more and more about Dr. Ingersoll. Maybe he knew his onions, after all.
xxx
First, I was thanking my lucky stars.
I had ordered hurricane shutters back in May, or so. The company kind of dragged its feet until I phoned em and started LEANING on them to get with the program here! Hurricane season was well underway [in late June] and I WANTED MY SHUTTERS, GOLDANG IT!

OK, they got here with the shutters—and the windows had been measured wrong by the sales agent. So, the installers hauled about half of em back to the factory and recut/redrilled new ones. They came back and got em installed quickly, once they actually, you know, FIT the windows they’d been custom-cut for.

Hurdle # 1 cleared.
xxx
When I’d ordered em, most of them were set to be cut and hung vertically. There were 2 exceptions because I wanted fire-access. So, 2 windows-worth were hung horizontally so the bottom halves of those windows could be left open for easy [well, EASIER, anyway] exit in case of fire.
Most of the shutters are left up permanently—so, Sunday afternoon saw me out hanging those bottom halves. A simple enough job, you’d think. Drag out the ladder, hang the shutters on the bolts installed around the windows, tighten the thumb-screws, dust off your hands and you’re done, right?

Wrong.

It turns out, the installers hadn’t drilled the holes on one of the panels. They had, oh so thoughtfully, marked which window it was supposed to fit. They’d even marked where the holes were SUPPOSED to be. Of course, I hadn’t noticed the absence of the actual holes till it’s twin was already installed. So, just to be certain, I took down the panel I had hung, fit it to it’s twin and yes, the holes and the dots lined up. So, I went in search of my drill bits—and didn’t find one big enough to fit the bolt that had to go through the holes I would be drilling.

While drilling, repositioning the drill and drilling another hole, then repositioning AGAIN and drilling a hole between the 2 and kind of sawing the drill-bit in a circular motion, I thought about Dr. Ingersoll again.

Finally, the holes were large enough and with much grunting and tugging and slapping the panel into position, it was where it was supposed to be. NOW, I could thread the nuts onto the bolts and put away the ladder.

Oh, and of course, all this was happening when the weather here on the coast where humidity is generally low and there is ALWAYS a breeze which makes the weather SO much more pleasant than it was back in Missouri in August was feeling downright midwestern. Yesterday saw temps and humidity both hovering in the century range. And those shore breezes were but a pleasant memory as the storm closed in. I guess Fay was hogging all winds for herself and leaving nothing for the rest of us.

Still, Hurdle # 2 cleared.
xxx
Then, this morning, I pulled out my hurricane kit and took stock of my supplies. First aid kit: check. No-cook food: check. Flashlights: check. Batteries: check. Radio that doesn’t need AC current: ruh-roh.

I THOUGHT I had a useful radio—I really did. But, when I unpacked it I quickly discovered that, in order to listen to it I have to crank it continuously. And the crank is noisy.

Just try to listen to the radio and actually get some useful information in that situation. I noticed that my bedside clock radio had a battery compartment. So, it was off to Target this afternoon. I picked up several 9 volt batteries, brought em home and installed one. I unplugged the radio and tried to listen to it. Nope. It turns out, the only thing the battery is good for is keeping track of the time so that, AFTER POWER IS RESTORED, it knows what time it is and you don’t have to reset the clock. But as for either listening to the radio or being able to tell the time while the power is out, forget it.

I phoned a friend across the street. SHE has been here for years and years and has several battery-powered radios and a battery powered tv. So, she lent me one of her radios. Once more, saved by the skin of my teeth. And, again, I thought about Dr. Ingersol.
xxx
Then, finally [so far], I heard that sometime tonight, the rains are due to begin. So, I went out to close the accordion shutters over my glass doors. And discovered that they had been installed BACKWARD.
One half of my glass door opens and the other half is immobile. And the two sections of the accordion don’t meet in the middle. They meet in the middle of one side where, theoretically, the homeowner can shut them and easily reach the locking mechanism. Only, the installers installed em so that the closure is positioned over the IMMOVABLE side of the door.
I can look through the glass at it and it's the prettiest little lock you ever did see. It looks very efficient and I'm sure it would do a bang-up job of securing the two sections of doors. Only, I can’t actually, you know, REACH the lock over there beyond the pane of glass that can’t be moved.

After struggling with it in vain and finally just giving up, I came in and placed a very nasty phone call to the company that sold me these perfectly good shutters [except for the fact that I had to drill the holes in one of em myself and now, I couldn’t lock the section that is positioned over my MOST VULNERABLE window of all—the one that is 7 feet tall by 8 feet wide. Gee, thanks, Shutter Co.]
Of course, it’s now after 10 PM—so the most I could do was leave the company a nasty message which won’t be received till after the storm has passed.
[After all, the company's employees live in Florida, too. They're going to be securing their homes or hunkered down listening to THEIR radios tomorrow--not in the office listening to messages from irate customers.]

So, after I vented my spleen at the Shutter Company’s answering machine I stopped and thought the problem through. And, I had an idea.
That's a dangerous practice, I know. But, I'm used to working without a net.

I went hunting for that ladder I’d used yesterday to hang the shutter panels. And I couldn't find it. I opened the shed, couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, came inside and couldn’t find the flashlight I wanted. I located another one, went back outside, shined the flashlight around inside the shed and—the ladder wasn’t there.

I came back inside and hunted around and found the ladder and, sure enough, [**whew!** FINALLY SOMETHING WENT RIGHT!] the bungee cords WERE where I thought they were! They were wrapped around two tubes of the ladder. So, I went outside and rigged two bungee cords across the accordion doors to, hopefully, hold them closed.

BUT, the fact remains, they ARE outside and Fay IS coming. How long will it take her to TWANGGGGG those cords and send them flying, throw open the accordion doors and slam part of my neighbors' roof against my door and take it out? Probably a lot less time than it would take me to sue that company for installing the doors backward.

I think I’d better go think up a better way to seal that door. And here it is, coming up on 2:00 AM. Fay has made landfall and is headed my way. I think I’d better get busy.
xxx
Meanwhile, I just heard that Fay is starting to get more ‘organized’—which means this Tropical Storm could, yet, turn into a hurricane.
It’s starting to spawn tornadoes [and Florida doesn’t know the meaning of the word, ‘basement.’ An oversight I’m sure it has regretted in the past—and will again.]
Now the latest forecast is suggesting it’s starting to zig-zag. So, it could head back west again—toward Clearwater.

OK, Dr. Ingersoll, you were right. I was wrong. Are you happy, now?
***
Postscript:
I DID rethink and reroute those bungee cords INSIDE the accordion doors. I'm far from certain they will hold the doors shut when Fay hits, of course, but I think they may stand a better chance.

And, I am not, by nature, a litigious person. But, if those doors spring open and my glass doors get shattered and all the stuff stored in my Florida room gets flooded and or ruined or blown out and damages my neighbors' homes or whatever---or the inner door gets shattered and and my house is destroyed because the installers didn't pay attention to what they were doing---they're gonna learn the definition of 'lawsuit' in a hurry. . . .

Meanwhile, I certainly hope the world doesn't continue to remind me of an adventure novel. I've had enough excitement for one month--over the last 2 days.
***
Postscript # 2:
After all that, Fay veered east and didn't come back. The next day I had to go outside to discover the fact that it had rained a little.

Yep, Dr. Ingersoll is totally and completely vindicated. Blast his eyes.

18 August, 2008

Well, Fay is coming in for a landing tomorrow -- or Wednesday or Thursday -- who knows? They're calling the landfall 'uncertain' [as to time and place]. Gee, ya think???
Clearwater is smack in the middle of the zone-of-probability. So, whatever happens, I'll be out-of-pocket sometime in the next few days.

I've gotten my storm shutters up, brought in ALL my outdoor furniture [my Florida room looks like a junk sale (in fact, the whole house does)] and laid in a load of groceries that don't need to be cooked.
My home is a modular one even though it's in one of the infinite number of mobile home parks in Clearwater -- so it's pretty sturdy and I'm probably going to stay put.

Over and above my survival kit, I'm taking Jake-the-Cat, Molly and Huck [the computer twins] with me if I am-scray to higher ground. Hey! you wouldn't leave YOUR pets behind, would you?

Assuming I have a home after Thursday or so, I hope to be back up and running within a couple of weeks -- whenever power is restored.
If you don't hear from me by the end of August, please send any white light you can spare to the Clearwater, Florida region.
Thanx, two crows.

18 July, 2008

Engineers educate the general public on the subject of cats.

06 July, 2008

Firmin

Book Review
Firmin by Sam Savage, illustrated by Michael Mikolowski, paperback, 162 pages, Coffee House Press, list price: $14.95
Firmin, the title character of Sam Savage's novel, is a real rat. I mean a real rat — the sort with four legs, a long tail and presumably a pinkish nose (the color isn't certain since the illustrations are in black and white). What sets Firmin apart from others of his clan is that Firmin is a reader. He devours books — both figuratively and literally.

Born in the basement of a book shop in Boston's Scollay Square in the 1960s, Firmin (the runt of the litter) discovers his passion early on when he is nourished not by his mother's milk (too many siblings jostling about ahead of him), but by the books he both gnaws on and reads. Beginning with a diet of Moby Dick and Don Quixote, Firmin naturally worries about finding his Destiny. A quick look in the mirror tells him that he'll never be as dapper and debonair as his hero Fred Astaire, and he'll never search for an elusive white whale or tilt at windmills. But surely, he thinks, there's something more to life than scrounging for food in a dilapidated movie theater:

Could it be that I, despite my unlikely appearance, have a Destiny? And by that I meant the sort of thing people have in stories, where the events of a life, no matter how they churn and swirl, are swirled and churned in the end into a kind of pattern … Lives in stories have direction and meaning. Even stupid and meaningless lives, like Lenny's in Of Mice and Men, acquire through their place in a story at least the dignity and meaning of being Stupid Meaningless Lives, the consolation of being exemplars of something. In real life you do not get even that. ...
xxx
This darkly comic homage to the power of imagination, the lure of books and the desire to live a life that means something speaks to all of us. And you'll never think about rats the same way.

02 July, 2008

Previously

Previously by Allan Ahlberg, illustrated by Bruce Ingman, hardcover, 32 pages, Candlewick Press, list price: $16.99

Allan Ahlberg's whimsical take on the world comes through clearly in all of his books for young children, but perhaps never more so than in Previously, where he teams up with artist Bruce Ingman to produce a charming concatenation of some familiar fairy tales. Beginning with Goldilocks arriving home after her adventure with the three bears, author and illustrator tell her story backward, so to speak, by describing what she had been doing "previously." The final "previously" has her walking in the woods, before coming upon the house of the three bears, where she bumped into Jack (of climbing the beanstalk fame).

As his story progresses backward, it turns out that he's the same Jack who tumbled down the hill with his sister Jill, and that the two of them had encountered the Frog Prince, who (before he was turned into a frog) had fallen in love with "a disappearing girl named … Cinderella," who had collided with the Gingerbread Man and his retinue, and so on and so on, until the very satisfying conclusion.

Reading this book aloud to 4- to 8-year-old children is a delight. Not only will they take great pleasure in repeating "previously" with you each time it appears (nearly 30 times) in the text, but they'll appreciate Ahlberg's word pictures — The Frog, "sitting on the window sill/with a sorrowful look in his eye/and a crown on his head"; or Goldilocks, who "had been humming a tune/and having a little skip by herself in the dark woods." Beginning with the deliberately childlike pencil drawings on the endpapers, Ingram's pictures offer a colorful and clever complement for Ahlberg's quirky text. Just take a look at the picture of the poor Frog Prince watching Jack and Jill arguing at the breakfast table, and you'll see what I mean.

30 June, 2008

hilarious [I think] video =D
See more Demetri Martin videos at Funny or Die

29 June, 2008

The Ghost in Love

Book Review
The ghost was in love with a woman named German Landis. Just hearing that arresting, peculiar name would have made the ghost's heart flutter if it had had one. She was coming over in less than an hour, so it was hurrying now to make everything ready. The ghost was a very good cook, sometimes a great one. If it'd spent more time at it or had more interest in the subject, it would have been exceptional.

From its large bed in a corner of the kitchen a mixed-breed, black-and-oatmeal-colored dog watched with great interest as the ghost prepared the meal. This mutt was the only reason that German Landis was coming here today. His name was Pilot, after a poem the woman loved about a Seeing Eye dog.

Suddenly sensing something, the ghost stopped what it was doing and eyeballed the dog. Peevishly, it demanded "What?"

Pilot shook his head. "Nothing. I was only watching you work."

"Liar. That is not the only thing. I know what you were thinking: that I'm an idiot to be doing this."

Embarrassed, the dog turned away and began furiously biting one of its rear paws.

"Don't do that. Look at me. You think I'm nuts, don't you?"

Pilot said nothing and kept biting his foot.

"Don't you?"

"Yes, I think you're nuts, but I also think it's very sweet. I only wish she could see what you're doing for her."

Resigned, the ghost shrugged and sighed. "It helps when I cook. When my mind is focused, I don't get so frustrated."

"I understand."

"No, you do not. How could you? You're only a dog."

The dog rolled his eyes. "Idiot."

"Quadruped."

They had a cordial relationship. Like Icelandic or Finnish, "Dog" is spoken by very few. Only dogs and dead people understand the language. When Pilot wanted to talk, he either had to get in a quick chat with whatever canine he happened to meet on the street when he was taken out for a walk three times a day, or he spoke with this ghost—who, by attrition, knew more about Pilot now than any dog had ever known. There aren't that many human ghosts in the land of the living so this one was equally happy for the dog's company.

Pilot asked, "I kept meaning to ask: Where did you get your name?"

The cook purposely ignored the dog's question and continued preparing the meal. When it needed an ingredient, it closed its eyes and held out an open hand. A moment later the thing materialized in the middle of its palm: a jungle-green lime, a small pile of red cayenne pepper, or a particularly rare saffron from Sri Lanks. Pilot watched, absorbed, never tiring of this amazing feat.

"What if you imagined an elephant? Would it appear in your hand too?"

Dicing onions now almost faster than the eye could see, the ghost grinned. "If I had a big enough hand, yes."

26 June, 2008

The Girl Who Silenced the UN Environmental Conference for Five Minutes

25 June, 2008

Hey, folks--
A major change just happened in my life which may well result in fewer posts being put up here than was previously the case:
For the last six months or longer I've been approaching one after another person in my community asking for help with some major projects I'm undertaking in my new home. Several people said things like, 'Oh, sure, I'll help you, as soon as ______ [fill in the blank].'
I think we all know what THAT means, right?

A couple of weeks ago, I was reduced to going through the yellow pages and phoning handy-men for estimates. When one quoted me the price of $800.00 to wallpaper 2 walls [that's WALLS, mind you, not ROOMS], I again started talking to people in my neighborhood.

So, last week, when a friend of a friend actually set a date to begin, I held my breath and SHE ACTUALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH! :)
The resulting mural in my living room is stunningly beautiful if I do say so.She has agreed to help me with several other projects, as well. Another mural, for instance, building a loft-bed-with-closet- underneath [and a staircase for getting into bed], the frame for the air-chair I brought with me [that is still in its box], constructing and filling a 2nd shed, converting the first shed into a workshop, and some major landscaping. You get the picture.

So, posts are likely to be thin on the ground for a while.
I hope to keep at least one blog fairly functional even while all these plates are in the air and—most likely—that one will be All that Is.

So, please do drop by http://the-turtles-back.blogspot.com/ and visit Mary Ellen of The Divine Democrat [who is co-hosting] and me.
I imagine if something absolutely outrageous occurs in Washington [and how likely is THAT to happen?] I'll put in an appearance at Preserve, Protect and Defend to scream about it. So, I hope you'll check in there occasionally, as well.
xxx
But, let's face it, if someone says she'll help me build a bed/closet complex or an air chair and actually SHOWS UP—well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, don't cha know?

23 June, 2008

Cindy McCain Robot Gets New Head -- by Andy Borowitz
State-of-the-Art Head Stores 2,000 Recipes

"We have the technology."
That was the message out of the McCain camp today as Sen. John McCain unveiled a newly refurbished Cindy McCain robot, featuring a
state-of-the-art replacement head.

While the Cindy McCain robot had been a fixture during the primary campaign, appearing at the senator's side at hundreds of campaign events, a McCain campaign aide went out of his way to indicate that with its newly installed head, the CinBot-9000 was ready "to take it to a whole new level."

"This new head is going to enable the Cindy McCain robot to do things that it could never do before," said McCain aide Davison Matz. "For one thing, it will now be able to talk."

Mr. Davison said that while the robot's previous head had been able to emit simple sentences such as "I've always been proud of my country," the replacement head will have a 400-word vocabulary that will enable the android to simulate human-like speech.

"The robot will be able to talk about the economy as well as Sen. McCain himself," Mr. Davison said.

He also said that the newly improved Cindy McCain robot would have increased data storage, enabling it to store up to 2,000 recipes from a variety of online recipe sites.

Appearing with Sen. McCain at its unveiling, the CinBot-9000's new head appeared virtually identical to the previous one, down to its bleached blonde hair and glassy-eyed stare.

Beaming with pride, the GOP nominee remarked on the new head's resemblance to the old one: "She still plasters her makeup on like a trollop."
^^^
And with a trowel, it looks like.

16 May, 2008

06 May, 2008

This from the Washington Post
It's About Nothing -- by Dana Milbank

Dispatches from the twilight of a presidency:

7:13 a.m.: The South Lawn. President Bush, determined to dispel doubts about his relevance, grants an early-morning interview to Robin Roberts of ABC News's "Good Morning America." Joined by the first lady, he fields hard-hitting questions about . . . the White House grounds. "It's a beautiful place," the president discloses.
^^^
7:58 a.m.: By e-mail, the White House Communications Office sends out its "Morning Update." It lists two events on Bush's schedule for the entire day: a "Social Dinner in Honor of Cinco de Mayo" and, an hour later, post-dinner entertainment. To react to the main news of the day -- thousands of deaths from the cyclone in Burma -- Bush sends his wife out to make a statement. She criticizes the Burmese government for its failure "to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm's path" and "to meet its people's basic needs." Reporters, too tactful to draw parallels to New Orleans, quiz her instead about daughter Jenna's wedding. . . .
^^^
12:39 p.m.: The White House Briefing Room. On the podium, the understudy to the understudy to the substitute to the understudy to Bush's first White House press secretary is giving a sparsely attended briefing on what he knows about Burma blocking relief efforts ("I am not aware of that report"). . . .

Eight months before the end of his second term, President Bush is forgotten but not gone. Power has shifted to Congress, attention has moved to the campaign trail, and the White House seems at times to be just going through the motions. For many reporters who remain on the White House beat, it has become a time to phone it in -- literally.
^^^
Click here for the complete text.
<><><>
Now, may Congress use the power it has for good--unlike what it did the other day when it gave big money to farm subsidies while, simultaneously, cutting funding for starving children around the world.

11 April, 2008

Saint Shrub

President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church in NW Washington as part of his campaign to restore his 28% approval rating in the polls. Karl Rove made a visit to the Bishop and said, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the President's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Hurricane Katrina, and the VA Hospitals. But, we'll make a $500,000 contribution to your church if during your sermon you will say that the President is a saint.

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The Church could really use the money - I'll do it."
The following Sunday, President Bush showed up for the sermon, and the Bishop began: "I'd like to speak to all of you this morning about our President, George Bush. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated nation on earth. He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this country and a greater gap between rich and poor than we've had since the Depression."
"He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot Dome Scandal. "The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6 trillion Dollars, gas prices are up 85%, which the people of America cannot afford, and vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from the religious right."
"He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known. But compared to Dick Cheney, George W. Bush is a saint."

09 April, 2008

Hello, All--
My abrupt departure was occasioned by the death of my mother.
It wasn't really a surprise although we'd been lulled into a false sense of security, I suppose.

She'd had Alzheimer's Disease for many years so we knew it was only a matter of time.
But, on the other hand, her hospice nurse had told me just a week and a half before her death that she was walking daily [with help], hoarding food [a common occurrence among Alzheimer's patients] and taking her baby doll with her everywhere. So, when the end came, it did feel pretty sudden.

At that, I believe she did my sister and me a favor.
I'm not one who hankers for the bedside vigil, myself. I've done it with people outside my family and what it boils down to, for me, is sitting by the bed feeling helpless. My mother spared us that. She departed while my sister and I were both in airplanes with our phones turned off.
By the time we got to her home, she had been cleaned up and did look to be sleeping. Yes, I expected her to open her eyes and say, 'What are you all staring at?'

03 April, 2008

I will be offline for several days. Family business suddenly came up.
Market Tumbles on News That Bush Is Still President
White House Appearance ‘A Painful Reminder,’ Experts Say
by Andy Borowitz

President George W. Bush used a Rose Garden appearance today to reassure investors that he was at the helm of the U.S. economy, causing stock markets to plummet around the world.

“You don’t have to worry about this economy, because I am in charge of it,” said Mr. Bush, touching off what some observers were calling a global financial panic.

Mr. Bush began his remarks about the economy at 10:30 A.M. eastern time, and by 10:31 markets around the world had already gone into a perilous free-fall.

According to Wall Street insiders, the markets were responding to the news that Mr. Bush was still president.

“Over the last few weeks, the markets have absorbed the news of the subprime crisis, the housing meltdown, and the Bear Stearns failure,” said Logan Teasdale of Citigroup. “But the news that President Bush is still president was too much for the markets to shrug off.”

Over the past few months, Mr. Teasdale said, traders have tried hard to forget that Mr. Bush was still president, but his White House remarks today were “a painful reminder.”

At the Federal Reserve, Fed chairman Ben Bernanke huddled with central bankers to find a way to calm the markets rattled by Mr. Bush’s alarming appearance.

One solution reportedly being pondered by the Fed would involve sending Mr. Bush to Disney World for the remainder of his time in office.

Elsewhere, in his first comment on the Eliot Spitzer scandal, Vice President Dick Cheney said he has never hired a prostitute because “I’ve been screwing the country the last seven years.”

27 March, 2008

YouTube called this 'playing'. Hmmmmm -- I'm not so sure. The lioness seems less than amused, to me.

25 March, 2008


from the sublime to the ridiculous --- :D
This came to me via the blog of a friend in my community.
Thanks, Jim

01 March, 2008


Thanks to Betmo at Poets for Peace.

28 February, 2008

This from the Borowitz Report:
Cash-rich Obama Buys Yahoo
Outbids Microsoft for Internet Giant

Flush with cash after a deluge of online donations, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) stunned the business world today by outbidding Microsoft for the Internet giant Yahoo.

The purchase of Yahoo is believed to be the largest acquisition of a multibillion-dollar company ever by a Democratic presidential candidate, industry experts said.

A spokesman for Microsoft at the company’s Redmond, Washington headquarters acknowledged that the company was “disappointed” to lose Yahoo to Sen. Obama, but added, “We can’t really be mad at him, because we love him so.”

The news of Sen. Obama’s $48 billion offer for Yahoo sent a shudder through Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY)’s campaign, which for the past six weeks has been subsisting on Ramen noodles.

In his televised debate in Cleveland, Ohio with Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama said that he was able to purchase Yahoo because his campaign was reaping online donations averaging $1.8 billion a day.

Mr. Obama also offered to “personally hire” 2 million Ohioans to do odd jobs around his campaign headquarters.

“People say, can we really come up with enough errands for 2 million Ohioans to do?” he said. “Yes we can.”

Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick praised Sen. Obama’s plan, telling reporters, “His campaign is more than just words, he is offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”

Sen. Obama later added, “My campaign is more than just words, I am offering people a real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”

Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession, leading economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession.

04 February, 2008

01 February, 2008

This from the Onion:
Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book
January 19, 2008

GREENWOOD, IN—Sitting in a quiet downtown diner, local hospital administrator Philip Meyer
looks as normal and well-adjusted as can be. Yet, there's more to this 27-year-old than first meets the eye: Meyer has recently finished reading a book.

Yes, the whole thing.

"It was great," said the peculiar Indiana native, who, despite owning a television set and having an active social life, read every single page of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. "Especially the way things came together for Scout in the end. Very good."
Click here for the complete text.

30 January, 2008


Maybe it's their makeup/body paint-- but this vid looks like it's been photoshopped.
I saw these guys on Cirque du Solei, though, so I know they're for real.
Watch and marvel!

28 January, 2008

Recycling Mostly Air. Not anymore!

Back when I was selling the KC house, I held out to be able to take my high quality can-crusher with me. Of course, if I’d been thinking clearly I’d have taken it off the wall before putting the house on the market in the first place. But as anyone who was around at the time is fully aware, I was NOT thinking clearly. [fwiw—if ANYONE who undertook a home-sale-and-cross-country-move was thinking clearly they simply wouldn’t do it—right?]

Where was I—oh yeah:
So, after I got somewhat settled in, I looked around and couldn’t find my drill bits. Okay, no problem, they ‘ll surface—right? Wrong.
Well, I WAS NOT going to out and buy new ones. If I did that every time they went missing, there’d be no point in recycling in the first place except to replace the resources I’d wasted by being so absent minded. I held out and, yesterday, I FOUND EM!

So, today I finally got the drill bits, the power drill, the level, 3 large screws and the can crusher all into one room at the same time—and all it took was 10 months and 2 weeks. The can-crusher is now mounted on the wall. The tools are put away [and, this time, I know where I put the bits]. The aluminum cans that had previously FILLED a fairly large plastic shopping bag now take up about 1/8 of the space in said bag.

Now, a word of warning here:
If anyone who comments on this piece resorts to giggling, chuckling, snortling, guffawing or pointing and snickering when I reveal the fact that the drill bits were in a toolbox in the laundry room [the room I mounted the can-crusher in and where it has been residing just waiting to be installed for most of those 10+ months] their comment will be summarily deleted—
just sayin. :)

26 January, 2008

All together now, 'Awwwwwwwwwww'


This came to me via email. While I can't swear it isn't photoshopped, I like to believe it is real. :)

21 January, 2008

The Politics Thickens

Edwards Blasts Obama for Criticizing Hillary’s Claim That Obama Criticized Edwards
-- by Andy Borowitz

Iowans Confused By Charges, Countercharges, Counter-countercharges

An already perplexing Iowa race became even more impenetrable today as former Sen. John Edwards blasted Sen. Barack Obama for criticizing Sen. Hillary Clinton’s claim that Sen. Obama had criticized Sen. Edwards.

At a campaign rally in Cedar Rapids, the former North Carolina senator said that the Illinois senator’s criticism of the New York senator for claiming that the Illinois senator had criticized the North Carolina senator was “an attempt to confuse the voters.”

Mr. Edwards’ comments set off a new round of charges, countercharges, and counter-countercharges between the three Democratic rivals, with Sen. Obama lashing out at Sen. Clinton for supporting Mr. Edwards’ criticism of Sen. Obama’s criticism of Sen. Clinton.

In a particularly nasty remark, Mr. Obama called Mr. Edwards a son of a mill worker, “but not in so many words.”

Davis Logsdon, chairman of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, says that the Edwards-Obama-Clinton battle royal may be contributing to Iowa voters’ fatigue: “Without a doubt, the Iowa caucuses are turning into the grossest three-way in history.”

New polls taken after the latest volleys and counter-volleys between the three candidates were inconclusive, as a majority of Iowans polled said they were “totally sick of being polled.”

With less than a week to go before the Iowa caucuses, 61% of likely voters agreed with the statement, “If one more stupid pollster asks me one more retarded question I swear I will go postal on his ass, I am not kidding.”
***
I'll bet this is pretty accurate -- even if it is a satire. And we've got 11 more months of this insanity. Oh, well, if we get a non-repulican president and congress out of it, it'll all have been worth it. :)

16 January, 2008

Bush Backs Phased Redeployment. . . of Congress

By Don Davis

Ushering in a new era of “Bye-Partisanship,” President Bush today announced his plan for Congressional withdrawal, in which Democrats would gradually be redeployed to points outside the Beltway.
click here for the article
:)

10 January, 2008

My Living Will

I, Two Crows, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Chocolate
Hamburger with onions
Malt w/ Whipped cream
French Fries
southern comfort manhatten
Pizza
Ice Cream
Chocolate
Cafe Mocha Latte
Chocolate
Sex
... it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and turn out the lights - - -
"The party's over!!!"

21 December, 2007

Macy's Is At It Again!

I hadn't checked out Macy's for a while. So, imagine my surprise tonight when I took another look at its Path to Peace Project and found a whole category of Gifts That Give Back. From seasonal ornaments that cost from $13.99 to $23.80 and benefit the communities in Indonesia that have been hit by natural disasters including the tsunami to Christopher Radko ornaments that cost about $50.00 and benefit agencies that help fight AIDS, that care for abused animals, work toward cures for Pediatric Cancer and Childhood Diabetes.
From the original Path to Peace baskets [costs range from $35.00 to $75.00] and the 'O' Bracelets [$132.00 to $330.00] that help the women in war-torn, AIDS- and poverty-stricken Rwanda.

As the Macy's ad puts it: "Of course, the tangible benefits of a reliable income are only part of the story. The women have found confidence, optimism and hope where only a short time ago there was none. Plus, working with women from both sides of the conflict has helped the emotional recovery of all involved. "Some of us are Tutsi survivors, others are Hutus, but we've gone past the divide of ethnicity," says one 45-year-old genocide widow...
"How's that for a fashion statement?"

btw--all items listed here are available online and, I think, you won't find them in stores. jfwiw.

14 December, 2007

11 December, 2007


is this cool or what? :)
I'll be posting some more over the next few days -- so check back in every so often, ok?

04 December, 2007

Democratic Debate and Live Blog

Hey folks, in case you haven't heard, there's going to be a live-blogging event over at Mary Ellen's Divine Democrat set to coincide with NPR's Democratic Debate at 2:00 PM EST today. So, drop by if you can, tune your radio or 'puter to NPR and include your 2c worth.
Hope to see you there! :)

29 November, 2007

Cheney’s Doctors Detect Signs of Heart

This from the Borowitz Report-- :)
^^^
Sudden Appearance of Major Organ Confounds Experts

In a stunning development that has confounded medical experts around the world, doctors examining Vice President Dick Cheney said today that they have detected signs of a heart.

The vice president was rushed to the hospital over the weekend after complaining of chest pains, but no one in Mr. Cheney’s inner circle suspected that a human heart was the cause.

“We had been operating under the assumption that he didn’t have one,” said chief of staff David Addington, who said that Mr. Cheney also has not had a soul since 1995, when it was purchased by the Halliburton Company.

At George Washington University Hospital, doctors struggled to contain their excitement about what appeared to be the medical anomaly of the century: the sudden appearance of a human heart in a 66-year-old man.

“It is too early to say conclusively,” said Dr. Carol Foyler, head of the team of doctors who examined the vice president. “But so far the beating and pumping sounds we are hearing in the vice president’s chest cavity are very much consistent with his having a heart.”

Dr. Foyler stressed that if the sounds emanating from Mr. Cheney’s chest are those of a human heart, “This will contradict everything we thought we knew about Dick Cheney.”

At the White House, spokesperson Dana Perino said that the sudden appearance of a heart in Dick Cheney’s chest had motivated President Bush to schedule an MRI of his head.

Elsewhere, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass) said that writing his memoirs would be “challenging,” adding, “I can’t even remember what I did last night.”

14 November, 2007

Harry Potter's Secret

Hint: It Has Nothing to Do With Gay Headmasters
By Michael Gerson

There is something inherently odd about considering the sex lives of fictional characters in children's books. Just how hearty were the Hardy boys? And we will not even speculate about Heidi's reclusive grandfather.

But J.K. Rowling has forced such considerations upon us with her announcement that Albus Dumbledore, the beloved headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is gay. The news, delivered by the author after a Carnegie Hall reading, was received with gasps in the audience and around the world.

The Dumbledore revelation was taken by many Christian conservatives as additional confirmation that Rowling is a corrupter of youth. What could be more subversive than the combination of witchcraft and homosexual rights?
xxx
Gerson [a traditional conservative] points out that "Ruling out magic in children's literature would, of course, completely depopulate Narnia and Middle Earth, leaving just silent forest." and "Magic is usually the way that children are introduced to the idea of transcendence."
xxx
Interestingly, the Narnia series, which includes a God/Christ-like lion isn't condemned by the neo-conservatives who seem to take the magic in those books in stride:
The children arrive through a magical wardrobe.
They converse with badgers, rabbits, etc.
They even fight a war with evil characters who seem to come from an area that resembles the Middle East of this world and worship a God who resembles Mohammed -- in a book written a generation before Islam- bashing became fashionable.
xxx
The 'Secret' alluded to in the title of the article, though is one we would all do well to emulate: it's Love.
And it includes acceptance of beings who are different from the reader, or of Harry himself, such as half-bloods, werewolves, giants, house elves, goblins and so on.

Loving those who are different from us? What a heretical message to teach our children! --according to the far-right-Christians.
Never-mind what Joshua bar Joseph taught.

Click here for the complete text [of the article--not the Deathly Hallows :)]

01 November, 2007

Ya Gotta Love Borowitz! :)

Trick Question About 9/12 Stumps Giuliani
Rudy Sputters at Town Hall Meeting

GOP presidential frontrunner Rudolph Giuliani stumbled badly at a town hall meeting in Iowa last night when an audience member baffled him with a trick question about 9/12.

Mr. Giuliani, who has made references to 9/11 the foundation of his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination, was “like a deer in the headlights” when the surprise question about 9/12 came his way, observers said.

The former New York mayor had been cruising through the town hall meeting up to that point, answering a wide range of questions about immigration, the economy, and global warming, all by referring to 9/11.

But the tone of the event changed abruptly when one audience member, Tracy Klujian of Cedar Rapids, asked the GOP frontrunner, “Can you name one thing that happened on September 12?”

Mr. Giuliani seemed taken aback by the question, clearing his throat and drinking from a glass of water as if to buy time before responding.

“That’s a good question,” Mr. Giuliani said. “September 12 happened one day after September 11 -- and we must never forget the lessons of September 11.”

Mr. Giuliani’s aides later said that their candidate had expertly parried a difficult question, but also offered excuses for Mr. Giuliani’s apparent failure to refer to any other date besides September 11.

“The man has a lot of dates to keep track of,” one aide told reporters. “For one thing, he’s had three different wedding anniversaries.”
^^^
Elsewhere, President Bush eulogized Washoe, the chimp who had a 250-word vocabulary, issuing this official statement: “Me miss Washoe. Me sad Washoe dead.”

24 October, 2007

Bush Seeks to Ban Marriage Between Fictitious Gay Characters

Harry Potter Revelation Prompts President’s Move

Just days after “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling revealed that the popular professor character Albus Dumbledore was gay, President George W. Bush told the nation that he would seek a ban on fictitious gay weddings.

In a nationally televised address last night, Mr. Bush said that he devote the rest of his term in office to obtaining a constitutional amendment banning marriage between fictitious gay characters.

“In order to protect the sanctity of marriage in the real world, we must first protect the sanctity of marriage in fiction,” Mr. Bush said. “This is the most pressing goal of my Administration – even more important than bombing Iran.”

While the president’s address was for the most part consistent with his earlier statements on gay marriage, it was uncharacteristic in that it demonstrated an awareness of books.

And in attacking the Mr. Dumbledore’s right to wed, Mr. Bush may have raised the ire of one of the most militant constituencies in the U.S.: Harry Potter fans.

Jude Ralston, 34, one of over 5,000 Potter devotees who dressed as Dumbledore to protest the president’s speech outside the White House last night, said that Mr. Bush could be playing with fire: “Harry Potter fans take these things very seriously, and we don’t have anything else going on in our lives.”

19 October, 2007

15 October, 2007

The Politics of the Lightbulb :)

HOW MANY REPUBLICANS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?

1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the
banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished."

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.

8. One to viciously smear #7.

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb changing policy all along.

10. Finally, Joe Lieberman to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing the light bulb and screwing the country.

Alexander Fisher
alexanderfisher@alexanderfisher.net

14 October, 2007

It's A Miracle! :)

I bought cookware!
When I heard about the Macy's promo, 'Shop for a Cause', I had been planning to buy some cookware anyhow [WHAT?!? ME?!? 8-O ] --
So I made 2 donations of $5.00 each to the Women's Heart Association [Why they didn't go for breast cancer, seeing as how this is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I don't know but -- oh, well] and saved over $31.00 at checkout. and I did it all online! SO cool!

And I bought:
a cookware set that includes:
a 6 qt. stockpot
a 2 qt. saucepan
8" and 10" saute pans
2 detachable handles
2 lids
a canvas bag that stores all this stuff in one stack [given the amount of space in my cabinets that's a Good Thing.]
$59.97 [ On sale before the 20% off 'Shop for a Cause' promo -- original price $100 ]

[I was flabbergasted at the prices -- there were 6 to 8-piece sets that cost $600 and up on the list and one 14 piece set that went for $1,899.99! Do people actually BUY those???
_I_ wouldn't pay $1 to go look at those at the Museum of Amazing Artifacts!]
I paid $47.99 :)

A cutlery set that includes 5 knives, a pair of scissors and a block
original price $100
also on sale for $59.97
and I paid $47.99

2 oven mitts -- $10 each [ I paid $7.99 each]
1 hot pot pad -- $8 [I paid $6.39]
A set of kitchen towels -- $10 [I paid 7.99]
And a partridge in a pear tree

Add taxes and shipping: $161.12
And that includes the warm-fuzzy for the donations.

Now, the question for the universe remains-------
Will I ever, you know, actually COOK with this stuff?
Will keep you posted. :)

02 October, 2007

Are there any other retirees out there? See if you relate.
:)

21 September, 2007

Compassion in the Dead Letter Office

I received this apparently true story [see below] through email and wanted to pass it on.
What a caring thing to do for a little girl the giver had not and never would meet.

Our 14-year-old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she
died, my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about
how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to
God so that when Abbey got to Heaven, God would recognize her.
She dictated and I wrote:
Dear God,
Will you please take special care of our dog, Abbey? She died
yesterday and is in heaven. We miss her very much. We are happy
that you let us have her as our dog even though she got sick.
I hope that you will play with her. She liked to play with balls
and swim before she got sick.
I am sending some pictures of her so that when you see her in
Heaven you will know she is our special dog. But I really do miss
her.
Love,
Meredith Claire

We put that in an envelope with two pictures of Abbey, and
addressed it to God in Heaven. We put our return address on it.

Then Meredith stuck some stamps on the front (because, as she said,
it may take lots of stamps to get a letter all the way to Heaven),
and that afternoon I let her drop it into the letter box at the
post office! .

For a few days, she would ask if God had gotten the letter yet. I
told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front
porch.

Curious, I went to look at it. It had a gold star card on the front
and said 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith took it in and opened it.

Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers, 'When a Pet Dies'. Taped to the
inside front cover was the letter we had written to God, in its
opened envelope. On the opposite page, one of the pictures of
Abbey was taped under the words 'For Meredith'.

We turned to the back cover, and there was the other picture of
Abbey, and this handwritten note on pink paper:

'Dear Meredith,

I know that you will be happy to know that Abbey arrived safely and
soundly in Heaven! Having the pictures you sent to me was such a
big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

You know, Meredith, she isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with
me--just like she stays in your heart--young and running and
playing. Abbey loved being your dog, you know.

Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets,
so I can't keep your beautiful letter. I am sending it to you with
the pictures so that you will have this book to keep and remember
Abbey. One of my angels is taking care of this for me. I hope the
little book helps.

Thank you for the beautiful letter. Thank your mother for sending
it. What a wonderful mother you have! I picked her especially for
you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you
very much. By the way, I am in heaven, but wherever there is love
I am there also.

Love,
God '
***
this story was verified as 'true' by snopes here:
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/abbey.asp